Don't Let Academia Bully You
12:08 PM
When I first went to college, and was at FIDM, I had two professors who bullied in two different ways. One was actually verbally abusive, and yelled at students who didn't get things right the first time, or asked questions. It was not a good learning environment. All we did was follow directions...with no room to experiment or apply what we "learned." Another professor bullied in a more subtle but still malicious way, by gossiping to each student and other professors to spread rumors and pit people against each other. In the end, the class was divided, with half against the other half. I reported them both to the school, which resulted in all the professors, even the nice ones, from ever talking to me again. It was obviously a toxic environment all around. Unfortunately, I was very young and didn't understand the nature of abuse, toxic people, or bullying. I unfortunately believed that it was because I didn't work hard enough, or I was a bad person who somehow deserved it.
In the years since FIDM, I've learned a lot about all of those things. I survived narcissistic bosses and boyfriends, as well as toxic people at work who created smear campaigns, ostracized, and gossiped. I faced verbal abuse, sexual abuse, and interpersonal abuse. It WAS abuse, and no amount of mental gymnastics can justify it. None of it was my fault. And none of it is EVER warranted.
When I returned to school, I was wary enough about abuse that I didn't want any part of it. Any professor that showed any inkling of abuse was immediately dropped, and there were three of them. One flirted with the men in the class, making everyone uncomfortable. One basically told us all that we were too dumb to pass his class. Another was rude and demeaning to the women in the class.
I can't say I am an expert at spotting abusive people. After all, if they weren't able to hide who they really are, they wouldn't be successful anywhere. Abusive people know how to manipulate, connive, and talk their way out of situations. But there are red flags to look out for (and please keep in mind that when I say there are red flags to look out for, it doesn't mean that it is your fault if you can't spot all red flags...the prey is not responsible for the predator's choice):
Humiliation
This can be subtle, and can be masked as being justified. But if you are left feeling guilty, inferior, or embarrassed, you are probably being subjected to humiliation abuse. In this type of abuse, the abuser may reword how they talk to you to make you seem like you are always making a mistake or saying the wrong thing. If you ask a question, they may talk over you or make you feel like you're stupid. They may make a public example of your work as what not to do, over and over. They offer critique, but no solution. They are condescending, rude, and are generally out to make you feel inferior to them.
What does this look like?
What does this look like?
- "Here we see everything not to do..."
- "Did you not read the book?"
- "Thank you for the textbook definition, however, I'm looking for something with critical thought behind it. Next?"
- "Perhaps you should have paid more attention in your prerequisites..."
- "Are you sure that is how its supposed to be?"
If you'll notice, this requires an audience. The professor will never suggest one on one time or a private review. Here is what the above looks like when not abusive:
- "I love that you attempted this hard technique. Here are a few tips to make it work a bit smoother..."
- "Close, but if we look at the book, it says that..." or "I admire your unique perspective. Perhaps you can integrate it with the questions of the homework, and also consider this point of view in a sort of argumentive essay?"
- "Yes, that is an excellent definition. How do we apply that to real life, though?"
- "I understand this is a tough concept. Let's have a little mini review..."
The above all acknowledge the student as someone who is learning and not an expert. But they also acknowledge the student as a person. People forget things. People make mistakes. People are not perfect. It acknowledges attempts without making people feel horrible for not being perfect.
Sabotage
This can happen where a professor does not give a student their time, at least, not as much as they do for others. Perhaps they withhold information, neglect to show someone something, or even worse, steal or damage their work. I have had a professor sell my portfolio at FIDM to Forever 21. Even though that didn't sabotage my grade, it did con me out of money!
There are also tales of professors who will automatically dock points from assignments with no explanation. Sometimes if pressed for an explanation, they will refuse, tell you "go read the syllabus," or come up with a reason that you know is not legit. I have faced these sorts of professors before, and have had to get my student advisor, the dean, and/or the program department head(s) involved. Only once has this action not helped me, but it's still worth it. Remember, school is a service you pay for, a service designed to help you learn. If it is not doing that, you aren't getting what you paid for (this is not an excuse to go full Karen on someone, though...be respectful).
Gossip and ostracism
This is when a person or persons target someone and gossip enough to turn the crowd against the person (otherwise known as a smear campaign). Ostracism is when they purposely exclude someone, or use other abusive methods to make others participate in ostracizing someone. If a professor has favorites, and those favorites are doing poorly, they may manipulate the situation so where others feel out of place or unworthy in the class. This is horrible because the professor is in a position of power, and people will naturally want to believe them. In my example, one half of the class believed the professor. However, gossip and ostracism are long games. They take time and effort. If a person gossips against you once, whatever. But long term gossip poisons the mind, and people begin to see this as truth. It is not okay.
Verbal abuse
Verbal abuse might be hard to pass off, but as in my example, it has happened. What made it work for the professor was that we were a small class size (6 students) and we could not drop the class. It was literally impossible to drop the class because there were no concurrent classes, the classes only occurred once a year, and she was the only professor for that class anyway. The professor was in a position of power, over 6 young adults who didn't know better, and was getting paid either way. There was no one target in the class, as all received the abuse. When someone reported her, she denied it.
Verbal abuse is when someone is being outright belligerent towards someone, such as yelling, screaming, using insults, and profanity. However, it can also be a part of humiliation, or any verbal abuse used to manipulate, lie, or demean. If it makes you feel like crap, its abuse.
What to do
If you are facing these situations, there are several things you can do. You can do all of them, actually.
- Keep a record: record what happened, when, at what time, and who the witnesses were.
- Report it to your academic counselor: you want to create a paper trail, so be sure to tell them. Plus, they're supposed to be on your side.
- Report it to the dean of the department, and CC your counselor: that way, you can show that it is a serious situation, and also, the recipient will see that others are CC'd and be more inclined to act.
- Have other students report it as well: give them the emails of who to report it to and ask them to speak up. When more than one person acts, it makes an impact. But if others don't because they are afraid or "don't want to get involved," that is fine. You can't force people how to act.
- AGAIN: remember that you are paying the school for the service of their professors teaching you, and if you are not getting your money's worth, then you need to speak up. Just as you would if you ordered a hamburger that was raw, or bought something that broke the next day. Why should you put up with a broken service at school? Just because professors are professors does not mean they have power over you. This is not high school.
You are worthy of having an educational experience that prepares you for your future without making you feel horrible about yourself. If a professor is behaving wrongly, realize that it has nothing to do with you. You are not inferior for attracting their horrible ways. You are not unworthy for this happening to you. You have done nothing wrong. So just report them, and understand that you cannot control others, and if it wasn't you, it would be someone else.
Get help
Most schools have mental health professionals you can call on when you are having issues. A professor who is abusive is an issue. You can talk to your school's therapist to not only get perspective on the issue and learn how to deal with it, but to work out your emotions and stress. If the abuse makes you feel anxious or depressed, please reach out. You deserve care and compassion.
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