A friend of mine expressed a concern she had the other day, a concern regarding how the people in her life seemed less than supportive of her in her college journey. She is still doing sophomore level classes for her major, despite being in college for three years, and this is beginning to raise questions about her competence in college. Those questions aren't being posed by her professors or counselors, or even by herself. They are coming from her family and friends.

I thought on this today, as I prepared to do homework, and realized that every person I have spoken to who has returned to college in their late twenties and beyond has a similar story. Many of these people have taken on strategies to manage their time so that school has not detracted from their home life, or has spoken to friends and family about their plans. Many get initial support as they begin, but as the process draws out, and hurdles and obstacles throw off best laid plans, it becomes that this support is conditional.

I, too, have experienced conditional support. I had decided to go back to school and the support I received was more of an agreement that I needed to find a better way to spend my time, as I would not be returning to my previous career. There was much emphasis on achievement, and without a stellar career, I was not in the process of chasing achievement, nor was I in the status of just having achieved something. It was unfamiliar for me, and the unfamiliarity of this stalemate gathered support, just as long as I was put back on the right track.

The As I earned soon lost their luster, and when I had to change majors, I could hear the sighs and the carefully reworded concerns that college was turning from an occupation of time to a waste of time. I heard statements encouraging me to try just one more time in my previous industry. I obviously did not listen.

Then came a conversation I won't forget. It started with this person, who I love dearly, telling me that college was easy, and that not only would this person be able to pass all classes with flying colors, that the teachers would get angry at them because they would be so smart. They would be doing the work for the teachers! Irritated, they would surely be sent home, never to return, an honorary degree in hand.

This conversation may seem to be in jest, but it was a hypothetical story that was told more than once by the same person, whenever I seemed to struggle. It often came with additional tags to it, such as that they have had a career spanning forty years and never once stepped onto a college campus, and seemed to do just fine.

In the meantime, I had lost friends who did not support my return to college or my desire to change careers. Other people in my life met behind my back to discuss my "problem" and how to fix it, even calling into question the security of my living situation. Perhaps I would just quit if I needed to find another place to live.

That, paired with the hypothetical statements, added another layer of stress to the stress normally felt by a nontraditional college student. It soon became apparent that I was not going to quit school. I was going to follow through with this to the end. I wanted a Bachelor's degree. I wanted a change. But I knew that the people who were supposed to be in my corner actually were not. The only person who was there for me, was me.

That is not to say that I did not get support in other ways. My housing needs, my anxiety, my low income job, everything...it was all tolerated. I didn't end up losing my housing. And no one ever did step up to fix my "problem" of school and apparent crisis of the soul or occupation, or whatever it was that they felt needed fixing. I graduated with my AA, and now I am finishing up my Bachelor's.

In a way, their non-support helped fuel the fire to at least come this far. That doesn't mean that I enjoyed it. That doesn't mean that I won't remember, either. It is a strange sort of motivation, one that didn't come from a need to prove them wrong, but rather, to recommit to myself.

To the person who said that they could do college "no problem," well, I called them out on it. I asked them to come enroll with me at college, and we'd take a class together, any class they wanted. I told them it would be fun. They restated their hypothetical story again, and I told them that I did not believe them. I believed that they would not enroll because they were scared, and they see how much work I do and are not truly prepared to do the same. And college is a place where one must become comfortable with being wrong. I said to them that I knew that this was not something they could stomach.

No other hypothetical stories came my way, and in the end, I was able to continue my studies. Also, this person never enrolled in college to answer my challenge.

While I know that I will reach the finish line on my own, and I will achieve once more, I know that this experience would be much more endearing if these unsupportive obstacles had not been put in my way. And I know that others have had to deal with much worse. This lack of support is often not seen for what it is, and is seen more as problems that need to be addressed and fixed. It often stems from fear and uncertainty, that should truly be dealt with on a personal level and not projected.

A college student is taking on an endeavor that is trying from many angles. Most traditional (fresh out of high school) college students are young, with parental support, who don't need to worry about kids or family or full time jobs. They usually do not need to dodge questions and accusations posed as "worries" and "concerns." They do not have to worry that their success is going to cause a negative reaction in someone. But many are still familiar with the burden of disappointing someone when they do not achieve, achieve, achieve. And this needs to stop.

We are not responsible for someone else's disappointment. That is something they have set up on their own.

Dear nontraditional college student reading this now, please keep going. I don't know what your major is, and I don't know your exact situation, but I know that it is worth it. Even if it only means something to you. You don't need to get straight As, have a perfect GPA, or even finish within 4 years for it to be worth it. You are worth it.

Don't let them get you down. You can do it.

<3

Last week, after a failed orientation at UCR, I called my dad to just get the emotion out of me. He and I don't always see eye to eye, and I know that when faced with dilemmas he would rather seek a solution instead of just listen, but whenever life bites me in the ass, I know I can always call him. I found the words just spilling out of me even as I cried in frustration right in the middle of the UCR quad.

They don't have classes for people who work. I know, they said they did. Nothing in the evenings and weekends. There is no way for me to complete a degree here. I asked, Dad. Even the psychology advisors can't believe admissions accepted me knowing that I work full time. It isn't a school for people who work.

The admissions and counseling staff were filing past me as I sat under a huge, shady tree, doing my best to cry in a dignified way. They were heading home. They've done their jobs, held up their hands, and said, "There's nothing we can do. We're sorry that you feel that you did not receive the information you needed before you submitted your SIR fee. It is non-refundable." It was time for them to go home, but I wasn't quite ready to quit.

Neither was Dad.

Don't they know they are messing with people's lives? After everything you've done for this? Changing jobs, changing majors? Trig?

Trig was a sore for us all. I had just finished teaching myself Trig during the summer, unhelped by a professor with no teaching capabilities and school tutors who didn't understand why I didn't understand the subject as taught. I escaped with a B+.

But Dad has been witness to it all. The late nights, the anxiety, the studying, and when I had to change majors, the defeat in knowing I had come so far only to stop and do it all over again. When I mentioned I was stressed or tired in the beginning, he told me that I had to find a way to make it work, because this is what I had signed up for.

Now I could tell he wasn't so sure of that.

I could hear him tell me not to quit, and to keep being determined. It was what had got me all those As, after all. Its what got me into UCR anyway. And Cal Poly Pomona. And Cal State Fullerton, and Cal State San Bernardino, and University of La Verne. I had just been...misinformed. I had to find another solution. Juggle the future again. Like always.

But it has gotten tiring. I am 36 years old, and my love for school and patience for overcoming obstacles is wearing thin, because the obstacles I seem to be facing are coming from the structures of high education built for young adults who flounder outside the stringent structure of High School. They are also structures put in place when dealing with thousands of people who may come and go like the wind. They're numbers. If you don't know the answers to the questions you didn't know to ask, its your fault.

It is only through painful experience that you learn what questions to ask counselors who just want you out of their office so they can get through the workday. It is only through missteps and brick walls that you learn you can't finish your Early Childhood Education program because you didn't know that there were classes that required you to miss work. It is only after misinformation that you realize that, yet again, you need to take another math class to meet a requirement that you didn't know about. It was only after you pay your $250 non-refundable fee to UCR, and filled out all their paperwork, and gone to all their events and orientations and tours, and take days off work, and email and call endless counselors and advisors, and even get your student ID, that you learn that you are not the type of student that this school caters to.

No wonder so many students quit. All they want is to get ahead and they keep getting shoved behind.

I think I was the one who said that.

I could tell that Dad was getting agitated, and he was driving. I told him I'd hang up because I wanted him to be focused on what he was doing. He said he'd driven angry before. A lot of things get resolved in the car when you own your own business. When you are in charge of important things, solutions always need to be at the ready. It didn't matter if you were angry or driving.

You can't let them get you down. I know you can find a way out of this. If they don't give you that money back, I will. You can't stop now.

I know Dad has always had my back, but I know Dad won't always have my back. He's getting close to retirement, and I am at the age where I'm seriously thinking about my own. That was one of the reasons why I decided to change careers. Fashion doesn't give you a pension. It is hard to save when you always have to have and be the Next Big Thing. I'm 36. I can't go back into my 20s and make me be the traditional student I should have been.

That doesn't mean I should be punished for it. And sometimes that's what these obstacles feel like. You should have known. You should have done this instead of that. Why didn't you know what you didn't know? Figure it out.

I know that I will figure it out eventually. I know that when I get knocked down, to get back up, because no one is going to help me up. But I also know that some people are not that resilient, or don't know how to be. Some people who face these problems are lured by the promise of a better tomorrow if only they commit, but don't understand what that means. And they certainly don't know what to do when those who are supposed to help and support them don't.

As long as this keeps happening, more and more students will turn away from education. I can understand now why a 45 year old friend who wants to get out of a rut refuses to sign up for school, because its too late. I can understand why a mother of three doesn't want to complete her degree because she doesn't have time to "figure it out." I can understand why someone my age, who has only ever worked what they could with a high school degree, refuses to go to college now: because its too hard to figure out what to do.

These are people with established lives and kids and everyday hurdles that need attention, and definitely don't need more hurdles piled on top of them.

I definitely didn't need the hurdle set before me. I am now without a school, and am out near $500 after the last bout of admissions fees, plus the fees paid to UCR. I could feel the research opportunities and sought after professors and community activities slipping away. That beautiful campus wasn't going to mean anything to me. Trig was for nothing. I had moved to a new city for UCR. But now what could I do? All the deadlines had passed, so I could not apply to any other UC or Cal State school. If I wanted to attend one of those, I would have to wait until next fall.

My life would be pushed back another year. I'd be falling behind another year.

I hung up with my Dad and cleaned myself up. I was pretty much alone at that point, standing in the middle of UCR. It felt a little like Disneyland at this point. Carefully crafted and manicured, but you know there's a disembodied Mickey head hidden somewhere behind the false building fronts of Main Street. But Dad was right. There was a solution out there. It wouldn't be the one I wanted. I had them ready. Just in case.

I called a phone number I'd saved from last fall, when I had started applying to schools, seeking to transfer. It was the end of the day, and I didn't expect anyone to answer.

They did.

Hi, yes, this is Jennifer. Thanks for taking my call. I have a unique predicament, and was hoping if you could tell me if enrollment is still open. It is? School starts at the end of October. Do you have night and weekend classes?

You do.

I didn't realize it going into this second foray into schooling, but apparently there is a little controversy behind extra credit. I've read quite a few articles from the perspectives of professors and students alike that voice a negative opinion of the practice of extra credit: from the student's perspectives, we are already busy with life and work, and having to take time to do yet one more project is just too much (it never is too much from my experience), and from the perspective of professors, they dislike having to grade extra stuff and coming up with ways to boost students' grades.

Many professors see extra credit as enabling students who are too lazy to work hard for regular credit. I, however, am a student who puts 100% of my effort into school. I mean, why bother going to school if you are not going to be committed? It is a waste of time and money, and I would not get either of those back by lack of effort. However, sometimes my 100% of hard work and effort does not give me 100% of return. There is where students get frustrated and stop working so hard. No one likes to be reminded that their best just isn't good enough.

That is why I like extra credit and I treat extra credit opportunities like regular assignments. I have to do them. They are related to the curriculum (I've yet to run into EC that isn't) and they help boost your grade. Yet, even when my grade does not need boosting, I still do them. Here's why:

Extra credit allows you to explore outside of the syllabus.

One of my favorite extra credit assignments was going to a Buddhist temple for Philosophy: Intro to Religion. A school buddy and I went to a temple and took a cassette tape tour of a lovely temple and monastery, and got to discover philosophical and religious practices that we were not familiar with. I spoke with a few monks, and actually learned a philosophical lesson that was preached that day. We spent a few hours there, and wrote up a paper for about 10 points.

If we had not done that extra credit, we would have been restricted to the content of the class as far as learning opportunities go. I mean, we could have always went, but I doubt many students would if a professor did not suggest it. In fact, we were some of the few people who did take part in this EC.

Many students, especially those fresh out of high school, don't realize that education does not just occur in a classroom. We are trained to accept that what the teacher tells us is truth, and to follow the syllabus as if it were law. But there's more to the world than just what the teacher presents. EC sometimes can be freeing...after all, there's a whole big world out there waiting to be discovered.

Extra credit allows you to tailor your education to your own interests.

Lets face it: if material isn't relevant to you in some way, it isn't as interesting. This is a big concept that most teachers kind of lose sight of...if they consider it at all. You're going to get more results from a student when they're engaged and can relate the info taught to their personal lives. Its just how it works, but unfortunately we are trained that the students should come to the teacher, not the other way around.

Extra credit may give you, as a student, the opportunity to find a way to make the class subject relevant to you. For example, a professor gave us the opportunity to write a report about children's issues, and I wrote about how schools, for the most part, do not consider the developmental needs of adolescent girls when designing schools and curriculum. I was able to explore things that mattered to me, things that have always bothered me (i.e. there being no pad/tampon dispensers in the high school I went to, bathrooms not being designed for use of menstrual cups, etc.) and my instructor was so impressed he had me talk about it during class discussion.

Extra credit can let you have a bit of fun.

My astronomy teacher offered two extra credit opportunities. One was to take part in a Star Party at an observatory, and the other was to try our hand at photographing the moon through a telescope. Both opportunities were fun, allowed us to get out of the classroom, and exposed us to the wonder of what we were learning. Everyone was happy to talk about their experience, and we compared our moon photos.

I know of professors whose extra credit included trips to see movies, hiking trips, and more. These sorts of opportunities help break up the monotony of school, and help you see school as more than a chore you have to get through.

Extra credit helps you connect with your community.

Oftentimes, extra credit requires you to get involved within the community, meaning, getting involved with a charity or event that helps people. One professor organized a food drive across all his classes, which was then donated to a food bank. I've seen opportunities that require students to explore the inner workings of charities, work face to face with people who need help the most, and come up with ways to make the world a better place.

You can use VolunteerMatch.com to find volunteer opportunities near you.

This is beneficial because many students want to do this sort of thing anyway but don't know where to start. And sometimes they may be intimidated. It helps when someone is leading them into their first tries at helping people, especially if a person has never experienced situations that require them to work to the benefit of others with little reward. Hopefully the experience will be one that will empower students to continue with these sorts of efforts, even when not required for a grade.

Extra credit can seriously save your grade...and can often be a great tool in the learning process.

Before I get into this no-brainer, I want to dispel that extra credit is a freebie given to students who otherwise wouldn't work as hard for regular credit. From what I've seen, students who don't work as hard for regular credit most likely will not take advantage of extra credit anyway. The extra reward of points won't mean much to a student who doesn't value points in the first place. I've seen these students get excited for the prospect of EC...but then always fall through in actually delivering.

For students like me who actually care, extra credit can help us achieve the goal that we are already working towards. I consider myself an A student, and I like to think I give A student effort. But sometimes my A student effort gets me a B, or even a C. Maybe I misunderstood the parameters of an assignment. Maybe I just didn't understand parabolas as much as I thought I did. Maybe something came up...like a kid got sick or I got sick, someone died, or technology failed me. It happens. We are only human after all. Some things are beyond our control.

So when extra credit is offered, it is like a stepping stool to a goal we are so close to reaching, and capable of reaching, but the technicality of points keeps us from reaching. We know we're good enough, and the professor usually does too. Numbers, sometimes, doesn't take our dedication and hard work into account, and we shouldn't necessarily be punished for it. If you're thinking points aren't about punishment or reward, you grossly misunderstand how some students motivate themselves.

Learning from your mistakes is kind of the whole point of learning, and learning is the whole point of school sooo...

I take advantage of all extra credit because I know that despite my best efforts, sometimes I make mistakes. I plan to learn from those mistakes, but the mistakes are what gets recorded in the grade book because they are quantifiable. Extra credit helps me to learn beyond those mistakes and recoup those points, and not be forever punished because of a natural process of learning.

For example, my Statistics for Social Sciences teacher allowed us to come up, in groups, with statistical scenarios to prove that we more or less understood the material when most students made a mistake on a test. He realized that if most students made this mistake, then there was a disconnect between his teaching and his students learning, which does not denote fault on either party. Instead of just going, "Oh well, if you had been better students I wouldn't have to put up with this," he said, "Hey, here's how we can drive home this concept and get back those points, especially since it seems like everyone seems to have missed this important concept that is part of the curriculum."

I also had made that mistake, and was able to recoup 10 points I missed on the test because of it. My grade is no longer suffering because of a simple mistake, and I have also learned this concept in a way that I don't think I will forget in the final.

So the next time you are faced with Extra Credit, think of it as an opportunity beyond the value of points. You are in college for you, and these opportunities can only make your experience better! If you think you do not have time for EC, be sure to check out my posts about making an Assignment List, Planning Assignments, and Project Timelines. Also check out how to plan a semester when you work full time, too! It can be done!

What are some memorable extra credit assignments you took part in? How has extra credit helped you?

The light at the end of tunnel can be seen! I am nearing what is to be the last semester I will spend here at the Junior College level, meaning that I can apply for graduation in March 2018 and participate in commencement with my degree in tow as long as I pass all the remaining classes in Spring 2018.

I am very keen in participating in commencement, mainly because I have worked so hard to get to this point. Having to change majors twice during my time here at Chaffey has only driven me to want to succeed more. I know I am worth more than that degree, and yet, the signpost of my achievement is necessary to show future me that I have come this far despite my struggles, and I can go even further.

That being said, when it came time for registration, I found myself facing two more dilemmas. The first was a lack of registration priority, which I have written about here (as well as how to get around it). The second came from needing to take Psych-80-Research Methods...and every single class offered for Spring 2018 was only offered during the day.

Here's a brief background in case you are new to my blog: I am a 35 year old non-traditional student who works full time from 7 to 4 weekdays, who also goes to school full time, and who now commutes 1 hour to and from home and work/school daily. My options for school are limited to online, evening, and weekend classes. So Psych-80 wasn't going to work for me.

This problem did have a solution, however. Actually, it had more than one. I want to share them with you because what worked for me is probably not the solution that is best for you if you find yourself in this position. But let me break it down for you so you can successfully navigate this sticky situation and not lose hope in graduating on time:

First, contact your counseling department about it.

Chances are, if they are anything like Chaffey, they can't help you much BUT you want to start the line of communication here and have record of it, so email them if you can. They will most likely refer you to someone else (which I will tell you about below), or even say they don't know the answer to your problem. If they refer you to someone else, call/email those people. If they give you a non-answer in the form of an "I don't know," reply to them asking for communication information of the people I will talk about below. This process is going to take a lot of follow-up and you need to decide if the hassle is worth it. No one else is going to make that decision for you or do the work for you.

Ask your employer if you can rearrange your schedule for this class.

My employer knows I also go to school full time, so me asking this sort of question doesn't come as a shock. I keep my work and school life pretty well managed, so they don't "rob time" from each other, which also helps when I make requests like this. And it doesn't hurt! They can say yes or they can say no, and if they say no you're just back where you started, so you haven't lost anything.

I did ask but I could not change my schedule. And that is ok. Like the commitment I made to school, I also made a commitment to work. My employer counts on me to be here, much like how I count on them to pay me. So it is only fair. My solution would have to come from somewhere else, but for you, it may be a different story.

Before you go any further, ask around if any of your fellow classmates are also having this problem.

You will most likely find a few. Ask them to ask their friends too. Get as many people as you can, but you don't need to go full-on political campaign to be successful. Exchange emails and keep each other apprised of the steps you take. Why? Because one person complaining about not having a class available is not going to motivate administration to take care of your needs, important as they are. A group of people complaining about the same issue? Administration will start to listen.

Now, look to other colleges to see if they have a class that is comparable.

This was a suggestion of my counselor. I used this website to see if the colleges around me had comparable courses to Chaffey's Psych-80. If you are not in California, as your counselor for a link to a website like this if they tell you to search for a comparable course (my counselor told me to go find a comparable course but did not give me a link...don't be afraid to reply and ask them to do a little more legwork!).  I was able to find a few courses, and applied to the respective colleges. I then took these courses and emailed my counselor about them...

Only to find they were not comparable. Why? Chaffey requires a lab with Psych-80, and other community colleges do not. That isn't to say that this step won't work for you! It just means that I had to take my search for a solution a step further.

Next, contact the Program Coordinators, Department Heads, Faculty Advisors, or even the Dean of the Departments if you have to.

Yeah. I'm pulling out the big guns with this one. So when your counselor goes, "I don't know" or "you need to come in so we can discuss this" or "those classes won't work (and doesn't give you another step to follow up with) reply with this: "Could you please get me into contact with a person who can assist me with this information? I.e. the Program Coordinator (the person who helps coordinate classes for the semester for your major), Department Head (the person who sort of directs the faculty in some schools), the Faculty Advisor (this may be a special "counselor" type person who also mentors students who have ins with the other people on this list...if your counselor can't or won't give you the email to the Program Coordinator, maybe the Faculty Advisor will), Dean, etc.?"

This is what had happened to me. After I had emailed my counselor and searched for classes, and had talked to a few students who had the exact same problem, I asked my counselor for the email of someone who could assist me. She said she would email the Program Coordinator...and then I heard nothing back.

This is where talking to other students paid off for me. Another student had somehow managed to wrangle the email of the Program Coordinator from her counselor, and shared that email with me and all the other students with the same problem. We all contacted this Program Coordinator...who then said that after the influx of emails that she would talk to the dean to see about getting a new class added.

While you wait for all these people to get back to you, or while you are emailing back and forth, contact the admissions departments of the places you are transferring to.

Why? Because you don't need to graduate with an Associate's to transfer to get a Bachelor's. In California, you just need passing grades with the Magic Four and have 60 transferable credits. These credits usually mean your general education and lower division classes for your major, but if you don't have one or two classes (as long as they are not prerequisites) you can still transfer (if the major is impacted, however, you will want to try to get as many lower division classes done as you can manage before you transfer...with the best grades you can get).

I emailed all four Cal State colleges that I had applied to, and the one UC I had applied to, asking them if my chances at being admitted would be hindered by my not having Psych-80 in the off-chance that I would not be able to find a comparable course or Chaffey would not add another course. I let them know my situation, the steps I had taken (so they wouldn't tell me to contact my counselor at Chaffey, which I had already done), my application date, and I also included a copy of my unofficial transcripts. Every college replied stating that I had the Magic 4 and that I had 60 transferable units, so not having Psych-80 would not be a problem.

To top it off, one of the Cal States replied that if I did transfer in without Psych-80, I could take it later at Chaffey and transfer it in while also attending a Cal State. No one else had told me this info, and this advisor gave me this info without me asking. Now I know, and guess what...now you do too, all because I took the extra steps to solve this issue. Remember, closed mouths don't get fed!

Weigh which solution works for you.

For me, asking my employer for time off for the class that took place during the weekday didn't work, and neither did finding a comparable course. Transferring and forgoing graduation was the next best solution and it was a compromise I was willing to accept. Sometimes that is the best you can do.

However...last week I got an email from the Program Coordinator who replied that she had gone to the Dean with her influx of emails from all the other students...and added a Psych-80 for Monday nights.

Yeah. That's right. The students successfully got the administration to add the class for us, and now I will be able to graduate in Spring. I registered for that class the second it went live and am now sitting pretty with a very full schedule.

What does this all mean?

It means that there are options to getting your education done, and graduating with the classes you need. But it also means that you have the ability to make it happen. I believe that in situations like these, "I don't know" and "You can't" and "No" are not answers. They just mean that whoever you are talking to doesn't want to give anymore effort to the situation, which is sad because that is their job, not yours. But hey...there's always another person higher up to bug. And bug until you get the answer you want. Be pesky. Be annoying! This isn't high school where you kind of have to obey without objection to what someone gives you, and take it for face value. You can make things happen.

That isn't to say that this will always work. This post sums up about three months of effort, off and on. I was ready to accept that I wouldn't graduate, but that I could still transfer, which wasn't my ideal but was good enough. Thankfully our persistence worked because now I can graduate.

I hope you feel a little more empowered by this post. Sometimes it feels like we are navigating the Junior/Community College on our own, and it can be frustrating when barriers like this pop up. But know that there is always a solution, and the path to that solution may not be a straight line! But there's always a way around (or over) every brick wall put in your path. You can do it!

Have you ever faced a situation like this? How did you get around it?

I came back to Chaffey with a lot of credits, and for some reason they decided to transfer in all of them even though I was only going to use the general education credits. This meant I was over a 100 credit limit, a limit imposed by a Student Success Initiative that was part of the California Student Success Act of 2012. I lost my registration priority status (how far down the line of students I was in the line to register for classes each semester) almost immediately.

This is a frustration for many non-traditional students who return to California junior colleges, especially those who are transitioning careers or returning to school. Like myself, they may have credits or degrees they are no longer using. Most of the credits that caused a problem for me were from FIDM, a fashion design school, and I was not using any of them for Psychology or Child Development.

I spent most of the past 3 years being waitlisted for classes, which meant I had to arrive on the first day of class in hopes that someone didn't show up so that I could take their spot (which usually happened). It was rare that I got on the list for a registered spot, and a few semesters ended up having all my classes being waitlisted. Some I couldn't get into at all, and thus why I changed my major from Child Development to Psychology this year.

Womp! That 154 sure did mess up my registration priority!

While I understand the need to impose a limit, as some people are out there to collect degrees, or may not be serious about finishing school at all, for us non-traditional students, these unit limits can be a hamper to our success. Luckily, most schools allow you to petition against this limit, especially if you are close to completing your AA.

Make sure your college has a unit limit, and if it does, that it allows petitions.

Make sure you meet the requirements for a petition if they do have one.

Sign, date, complete, and turn in the petition.

"I understand that approval of this petition allows me to retain my current registration standing for two semesters, beginning with the semester indicated above. I also understand that this is a one-time exception. There is no guarantee that this petition will be approved and, if approved, does not guarantee enrollment in any class. I acknowledge that all committee decisions are final and are not subject to further appeal. I also understand that by submitting this petition all transfer units will be posted to my Chaffey transcripts, which may affect my eligibility for financial aid."

If you find a paragraph like the above on your petition, know that this is one and done. If you get denied, you can't go back and petition again!

Or can you?

I actually did petition before, about a year and a half ago, when I was not close to finishing Child Development at all. I was denied, and when I wanted to petition again in October 2017, my counselor told me that I could possibly be disqualified because I had already petitioned. I sent in another one anyway, because if the answer is already no, what have I got to lose?

Thankfully I did, because this second petition was approved, and they moved my registration date from the 17th to the 8th!

So be sure to complete all the steps and turn the petition into the right office with all the attachments stapled to it. You deserve success, and if you are committed, getting those good grades, and dedicated to moving onto the next step, your high credit status should not hold you back!

Have you ever petitioned for registration priority? How did it work out for you?

I am a true child of the internet. I remember when the internet was still not a thing and was more like a novelty that some people accessed sometimes, and I will forever have my first foray onto the internet etched into my memory. It was when Prodigy was still around (look it up) and we waited about 15 minutes for a Babysitter's Club story page to load from the web. When Windows 98 was made available on my first very own computer, I discovered AIM and Yahoo, and my world would never be the same.

As technology evolved, so did the internet. Socializing on the web gave way to social media, with specific platforms that shared specific content. AIM and Yahoo had no clue how big these things would be, as evident by their demise. And I don't need to tell you all about what social media is; if you have a pulse, chances are you have an account with at lease one social media service (which includes LinkedIn). I mean, even my mom has an account with every major platform, and she still types with her index fingers.

Things have evolved since this wonderful phase of our reality.

However, there's a difference between growing up on the internet and using the internet as an adult, student, and professional. I got my first glimpse of this when a professor at FIDM (very publicly) berated me for having a portfolio on a public and very unprofessional (and now defunct) artist's platform. I did not understand what was wrong with having an account there then, but now I can see that I was unwittingly associating myself with art and artists that could be seen as unprofessional just by being on that site, and thus, could be giving the impression that I was condoning artwork I did not agree with or even like. But more on that later. Here's what's important though:

The world is run on perception, and if you cannot control the perception of others (which you can't), you need to be careful of the image you craft.

That isn't to say that I don't respect the rights of artists to do whatever they want. I truly believe in the freedom of art, and to each their own, etc. and so forth. And some of you reading this may be in the mindset of, "F--- it, it's my life and I don't care! I am not going to walk on eggshells to the 'what if'!" To that specific aim, and to the specific audience receptive of that attitude, that is perfectly OK. But most of the world does not, and if you want to dip your toe in the rest of the world, then caution is needed when utilizing the social media platforms available to you.

Here's some things to consider when engaging on these public platforms:

Private does not mean private.

Many social media platforms have private settings so that you can make your account invisible to those who don't follow you, like Instagram and Facebook. However, never mistake that what you put on a private account will stay private. Others can always take a screenshot and share it. You cannot control who will do what, and chances are you have a "friend" who would love nothing more for you to post something that can be used against you. It is wonderful to believe that you are surrounded by nothing but love and support, and no one would ever betray you in such a way, but don't give anyone that chance.

Remember, the internet is not like Las Vegas. What happens on the net doesn't stay on the net.

I believed that there was a boundary between The Internet and Real Life, and I think many believed this as well. The term IRL (in real life) refers to the two lives you led: one life was full of the everyday things of jobs and school and feeding your cat. The other was full of video games, art, memes, outspoken opinions, and more. You could put one life away to enjoy the other. However, this boundary is no longer real. Who you are on the net is who you are IRL. You created this presence. It is of you! You cannot be a respectable member of the community during the day and a raging Nazi troll at night, and not expect for this behavior to remain separate. This is a very extreme example, using behavior that I feel needs to be found out anyway.

Which brings me to the point: if I were a hiring manager, admissions counselor, recruiter, or anything like that, I'd want to know if my future associate or student was a raging Nazi troll! I'd probably Google you to see what comes up (and if you are a Nazi anyway, please stop reading this post...you need to be found out!).

Now let's pretend. I'm a hiring manager or admissions counselor and I am looking at you as a prospective new hire or new student to my campus. Think about your social media presence. Is there anything you would not want me to see?

How do you ensure you are putting out an image of yourself that matters? Think about boundaries and the concentric circle diagram. At the center is you, your personal self. Not everything about you needs to be shared with the world, and keeping that boundary does not mean you are not being true to yourself. It means you respect yourself enough to know that there are some parts of yourself that need to be held sacred, thus entitled to reverence and respect. Some of these things that you would never share or give power away to someone else is personal respect, body autonomy, personal responsibility, and things like safety and security.

Via here.

Beyond the circle of Self is your immediate surroundings. If you have a spouse, this circle is probably shared between just you and them. After that circle is your immediate family, and what you share just with them. Now, if you notice, what you share may appear more limited as your circles expand. Don't think about it as limiting yourself. Think of it as each circle is a gate, and what is allowed to pass in to each circle. Who you allow to see that side of yourself is respecting yourself.

At the very last circle is the public self. This is what you allow others to see. This is where your social media presence lies and your sacred self ends.  

If there is anything in your social media that you feel someone could possibly use against you, to fire you, or to pass you up opportunity wise, it belongs within your boundaries, and not on social media.

Who you are on the internet today matters, not who you will be on the internet tomorrow.

When recruiters look you up, they are getting a picture of who you are. Your resume only does so much for you. Recruiters want to see what you do in your spare time, what your life looks like, and can glean from what you post a sliver of what represents you. They want someone whose image is something that is compatible to their own, and whose behavior they will feel is a good fit as a representative of their brand. That isn't to say that if you want to be a car designer in the future that your social media needs to be nothing but cars cars cars cars cars! What I means is, your social media should reflect who you are as a respectful and professional person.

This is where the "growing up" part comes into play.

Before I really came to this realization, my social media was a hodgepodge of whatever I thought was relevant to me. I treated every platform the same, and used each one as a storage of my thoughts and whims, which is fine, but not professional. Memes, cute dog videos, characters of shows and books I liked, pictures of family members, opinions, random weird stuff like bottlecaps with sayings on them...it had no cohesion and didn't tell a story of who I was in a way that others could understand.

I was expecting a random audience to be able to read between the lines. And when you leave yourself up to interpretation, you are giving up the power of who you are to be determined by someone else, and that should only be done by you. And you should never leave a recruiter to figure out who you are.

Use each social media platform strategically.

Many people use every account they have the same way, which does no justice to the specific nature of each platform. There is a marked difference to each platform! Instagram is not Twitter, Facebook is not Tumblr, and Snapchat is not LinkedIn! Social media marketers will use the nuances of each platform to hook a specific audience, but that's not what we're going for here. Here we're trying to manage your personal presence in a very interpersonal way.

• Instagram: This is a photo album where the photo tells the story. Yes, you can add words into it, but for the most part, the audience is trained to take the image posted for face value. Not everyone is going to click into a picture to read just why you posted a cartoon of a certain political candidate in a demeaning situation. They are just going to see that you posted it. If your audience clicks into your account and sees a lot of stuff that they could perceive as unsavory, they're going to click right out and not come back. How to use: Use it as a blogging tool about your life as you would like others to see it but in the moment. This is why you see so many food bloggers using Instagram. Food is temporary, and so are fun memories, moments, locales, vacations, etc. People love to see the interesting parts of the mundane. Use Instagram as a tool to appreciate the life you live by documenting it like a time capsule. 
• Facebook: This started out as a place for college students to network with each other, but turned out to be a slightly more sophisticated Myspace. This can be a hodgepodge of things, but I like to think of it as the space between your life and television. Its where you go to live your life when you aren't consuming media or giving it out. That's why advertisers are so keen to insert their presence into it. They know this is the magic in-between. How to use: You know those circles I talked about? This is for the Friends and Family circles. Do not post anything you wouldn't want your momma to see! And do not invite coworkers or fellow students to this space. Why? Because they can take whatever you post, twist the context, and share it. Facebook is notorious for changing its privacy settings on you without you knowing. You may think you are posting in private, then come to find out your friend saw you complaining about her, and suddenly you're in the middle of a Mean Girls plotline. Or worse. Besides, you deserve a space for Friends and Family. And, you can crosspost mostly anything from other accounts there anyway, so it is not like you are limited very much.
• Pinterest: Pinterest is not a social media platform. Many people think it is, because you find stuff you like and pin it, and others repin what you pin, etc. However, the pin or saving feature is minuscule to what it really is: a visual search engine! That's the whole appeal to it anyway. You can use it to search for images of your OTP, and save them to a private board, but it is actually a very handy tool for yourself, and crafting yourself as an image to others. How to use: Use it to search about how to do more. How to be a better college student, mom, professional, you name it. Have visual placeholders (boards) for what inspires you. Here is where you can use what others post to craft the "read between the lines" that you want others to see. And what is great about Pinterest is that others who see your pins can use them to help themselves. Now, this isn't to say that you can't use Pinterest to create the perfect princess birthday party for your toddler. Go right ahead. But the boards about fandoms and games and how to make the perfect cocktail should probably between you, yourself, and your private boards.
• Tumblr/Deviantart/message boards/other "shared" or community spaces: Oh boy. I have a love/hate relationship with Tumblr. I think that once you hit a certain age, the days of Tumblr should be behind you only because you are who you hang out with and that includes maturity level. There's a certain stigma around Tumblr and Deviantart users, and while I don't care about stigmas anyway, there will be people who care very much (and that isn't to say that there aren't some important messages and incredible art on these sites, not at all) and be turned off by the mere mention of these platforms. How to use: I only go to these sites for drawing references, stock photos, tips, and tutorials. After that, I don't use them much. I do have a Tumblr for this blog but honestly, do not use it. Why? You cannot control what others will post or comment. Remember about what you post to these sites: just because you don't post it doesn't mean you won't be associated with it. Yes, I understand that technically this isn't true. But there are people out there who cannot make this discernment and here is why: you are directing them to an URL that is not yours, a site you did not design, and to content and comments that can be easily construed outside of a context with a very narrow understanding. Then, the user friendliness of these sites are often directed towards those who actively use them, not one-off visitors. The content and layout may be confusing, and the first thing a person does when they are confused on a website is click Home, which takes them to content that is not yours. Is that a chance you want to take? And even if you are not directing people to these sites, the content is easy to Google and never goes away. I have a personal website for my portfolio, and will use Instagram for outreach of my art. How you use these sites is up to you, but I'd do so with caution.
• Twitter: Someone once said to me that Twitter is like a room full of people who are all hawking their own wares to each other. No one else is interested in what other people are doing, just in the chance to badmouth them and direct attention to themselves. From a marketing standpoint that can be true, but for yourself, think of Twitter as a place to quickly insert your opinion...and be prepared that no one will care unless you can be more outrageous than the next person (hence why Trump is so popular there). Twitter was created for quick microblogging, and has evolved over time. How to use: Use it to connect with other people in your "community." I don't mean this as in your neighborhood or anything like that. I'm saying that if you are a non-traditional student, use it to connect with other non-traditional students. Twitter is used by communities like writers, artists, students, political affiliations, and cliques to quickly connect with each other when they are not face to face. And like Facebook, you can post stuff from other platforms to Twitter. And verbosity is not your friend here; you need to get your message across quickly and succinctly, because the audience will be onto the next outrageous attention grabber by the time they can figure out what you're trying to say.
• Youtube/video streaming: Youtube is to us what cable TV was to the people of the 80s. Its just another way to get to the content you want while making public TV channels worry that you're not watching their programs. But it is also a video storage place, like photobucket was for photos (or flickr for photographers). And video streaming sites are used to live stream visual "podcasts" if you will. How to use: Be careful about what you post to this site. No one will ever forget your face saying something hateful. I remember an instance where a kid in school posted something about why women aren't being objectified in video games, and my opinion of an otherwise bright young man with leadership qualities went way down. I actually stopped following him on any platform. And some people use these channels to stream art. Use these platforms to post stuff relevant to school and work, like tutorials, art streaming, and assignments. If you think no one can record what you say and do off a private video, think again. I have two programs for clip grabbing on my computer, and one for recording my screen, turning a video playing into a video saved. If I can do it, think of who else could do it.
• LinkedIn: LinkedIn is a wannabe Facebook for professionals, and is also a job search engine for some choice jobs. I only mention this place because this is where your future recruiter is going to look first when they see your name cross their desk. How to use: Use it to further explain your professional self where your resume cannot. It is the in-between of your personal website/portfolio and your resume/CV. Do not share or post anything you wouldn't want your supervisor to see! Despite the levels of privacy settings, people can get around them and see what you post and share. Use it to show off who you are and what you can do, but also to learn more about navigating the workforce of today. For example, I follow Liz Ryan, who has been invaluable to me just in her articles alone on how to keep boundaries in the workplace, and how to be an advocate for myself. Use it to network, job search, connect with colleagues and professors (yes, really), and to plan your career. I could make a whole post about how to use LinkedIn, but remember that nothing personal goes here ever.

Remember, the key to making social media work in your favor is in your hands alone.

Of course, what I have posted here only touches on the surface of each platform. The point of all this, again, is to mature with social media without neglecting it as a very important tool that is a part of our society and culture. That maturity comes when you see the boundaries needed not as restrictions but again, as gates. You don't see it so much as protection from the big bad but as levels of respect that are built to honor yourself. Your image is a tool for yourself to get ahead, not something to consider as a conformity. When crafted carefully, it is a business card that goes beyond the capabilities of a resume, application, or cover letter.  

How have you used social media to get ahead? Was there ever an instance where you realized your social media was not as personal or private as you thought? 

October 21st - the date of the WriteGirl October weekend session - was a date that came up in a blink of an eye from when I first heard about it at the WriteGirl Mentor Orientation, and yet, so much had happened in the interim. I had moved, which sounds so simple but wasn't. I was now 40 minutes away from where I had been living before, which meant I was now 2 hours away from Los Angeles. This made me iffy about participating in WriteGirl, but I remembered some things I had told myself, and thus had accepted as My Truth:

1. You can't expect "someone" to take care of something, i.e. "Someone should do something about that!" That someone is you (or in this case, me). It would be easy of me to think, "Oh, WriteGirl has tons of mentors to choose from, they won't miss me." And they possibly wouldn't. But the commitment I made is not only to WriteGirl or the girls at WriteGirl. It is to myself, and to my own integrity, and the example I set to others by following through with my word.
2. If something is important, you'll make it important. I can always say, "Oh, I don't have time/it is too far away." But those excuses just reveal that you don't really want to do something. And I really want to mentor! I thought, "Is WriteGirl 'a tank of gas, 2 hours, and paid parking' important?" Only I could decide that for me, and I decided it was.

I used up that tank of gas, traveled those 2 hours, and paid for that parking, and made it to the "Eyeboogie Studios" in Echo Park/Westlake, which turned out to be a really cool place that you'd totally miss if you blinked. The entrance opened up to a cool astro-turfed courtyard with a picnic table laden with free journals. The building entrance was lined with doodled-upon chalboards, and rooms with octopus wallpaper. The kitchen featured old books and a lighting fixture crafted from a canoe and Christmas lights. My favorite part, of course, was the bathroom, which featured a "Mac Counter" with an old Apple computer resting on a bench and targeting practice wallpaper.

Eyeboogie Studios via Figure 8 Realty

We, the mentors, sat in the courtyard to receive our assignment. Girls started to arrive, and I was paired with a lovely girl who was interested in journalism and non-fiction writing. I could tell that she was concerned with the humanity of current events, and she even taught me a few things in that regard! After she completed her intake interview, we made our way through the different "stations" that had been set up.

Each station had a specific theme, i.e. Rebel Girls/Women, Campfire Stories, Blogging, Poetry, Sound Immersion/Discovery, Wreck Your Journal, etc. We spent some time at the blogging and Rebel stations, where I found that Tweeting is something I need to work on.

The Campfire Station via WriteGirl

At lunch I said goodbye to my girl, then ate lunch before receiving another assignment. This girl was a talented fiction writer who had a knack for characterization. We spent time at the Campfire, Rebel, and Wreck Your Journal stations, but also visited the Blogging station. This wasn't something she was particularly interested in, but I mentioned to her that as an author, sometimes you will have to market your own Author Brand and works, because publishers seldom do that for you.

After each half day session, girls were invited up to the microphone for "Rants and Raves," where they shared issues that were relevant to their lives, usually to hilarious results. Some girls then also shared a few pieces they wrote that day.

Reading the day's pieces via WriteGirl

My favorite station was the Campfire station, which allowed you to pick up ingredients for s'mores (chocolate, crackers, and marshmallows) which had parts of a prompt on them, and together they made a whole story idea. We then sat around a "campfire" which had paper cutouts of lit logs surrounded by flickering faux flame candles and blankets. 

At the end of the day, I helped to clean up as part of Wrap-Up and then skeedaddled on home, rounding out an 8 hour day with 4 hours of a commute. Even though it had been a whole day's worth of an event, it felt as if the time had passed too quickly.I felt energized and inspired by the events, and wished there had been more. The next WriteGirl event isn't for another month, so I will take that inspiration with me to continue my own writing, and eagerly await the next fun filled day of writing.

When was the last time you said, "Someone should do something about that?" If you were that someone, what would you do?