This morning I woke to a sky full of thunder and lightning at 4 AM, and for the first time since last school started this Summer, I felt calm.

Summer school this year was, for me, a continuous adrenaline run with very little reprieve. I prepared myself for a tough semester, biting the bullet because I want to transfer and I needed this class to transfer. Doing a Math class was already something I wasn't looking forward to, but compressing a semester's worth into the period of 2 months was another challenge I was heaping upon myself.

This alert and I became fast frenemies over the Summer!

The semester started with me feeling unprepared for the pace of the class. The professor moved at a speed I wasn't used to in order to fit an entire semester's worth of material into 2 months. And then there was the ConnectMath website we used to enter our homework and on test, which provided me with hours of frustration. I went into the first test - with a test every 2 weeks - feeling somewhat prepared but good enough. I left feeling I could have done better, and that I was not as prepared as I needed to be. I got an 88% on that test, but made a lot of mistakes because anxiety got to me. I decided then that I was going to prepare better for the next test.

During this time, my Uncle Gilbert began to show that chemo was no longer working for him. He had been battling Stage IV cancer for over a year by then, and for the most part never "looked sick." He was tired all the time, and sometimes would leave family events to nap, but when Summer hit, he lost a lot of weight and stopped responding to treatment.

Also during this time, my parents decided to put the family house up for sale and move. This required us, as a family, to go through near 20 years of accumulated "stuff" to help them downsize, and then actually helping them move from one house to another. Trying to budget time between school and family obligations became a struggle.

I did much better on the 2nd test than the 1st, despite staying up all night to finish it.

The next test was a take-home test, however, the circumstances of it being a take-home test did not make it easier. I had underestimated how much homework was due and pulled an all-nighter in order to get all the homework - and take home test - done before the next day. I did much better on this test, even though pushing past my limits to get everything done had me paying for it the next day.

After those two tests, we moved into conic sections, logarithms, sequences and series, which was rather easy for me as I remembered it much better from Math 425. This homework and the subsequent test were no issue for me, and I basically solidified my A for the class...not counting the Final, of course.

The week before the Final, my Uncle died of Stage IV cancer and we held the funeral. I ended up taking two days off from school - ouch - but the math was easier for me, so I didn't have a hard time catching up (Pascal's Triangle & Binomial Expansions). At this point my parents were all moved out, but we had three rooms, a garage, shed, and attic's worth of stuff left over that we had to organize and sell.

All homework was done the Sunday before Finals, and I spent Monday and Tuesday reviewing. I took Wednesday - the day of Finals - off in order to study. I realized how much work I had missed since I went back to school in 2015, and thus, how much money I have lost. This may be a reality for many non-traditional students, which is something many school counselors don't mention.

The Final came, and I was...completely and utterly prepared. I finished every question, and knew what to do. I found myself...having fun during the Final! Now that the obstacle of frustration was gone, it was like 20 puzzles waiting for me to solve them! I mean, they were worth 10 points each, but hey...what's a little fun when you're fighting for that A?

I left Finals and went on home...and promptly fell asleep. But rest wasn't in me, not yet. We still had two rooms of solid walnut furniture to move downstairs (by we, I mean just my dad and I). The next two days had us clearing way too many books (I need a Kindle, y'all) from shelves, organizing random stuff, and hauling the heaviest furniture ever down a flight of stairs (protip: place furniture on it's flattest side and control slide down). Then, Saturday morning, we were up at 4 AM to greet the many, many people who had camped outside our house for a yard sale.

We sold everything but my childhood desk. Everything.

Sunday didn't bring much reprieve, and neither did Monday really. I was waiting for grades. I am that type of person who checks for grades every day after a Final, even if I know what I am going to get because I keep track of my grades. There's something about seeing them posted that gets me excited. I don't have anxiety about it. I just was waiting with anticipation.



I checked the website to see that I had a 65% in the class, with the Final coming in at 0%. A part of me felt a little fear, but I knew I had done well, so I emailed the professor about the mistake. She adjusted the website and my real grade of a 99% in the class, an A+, appeared.

I feel a sense of relief, not in that the grade was posted but in that Math for me is done unless I want to take more advanced Math. I might, maybe one day, but for now my goal is to transfer and move onto the next step in my college path. Statistics for Social Science is the last math related class I have to take for my major, but with Math 25 done, I can transfer.

All in all, I think this class - and the goings-on of my life during this class period - brought me to the edge of my boundaries for self-care. I pushed myself a little too hard on this one, and not because I know I deserve that A and the investment this class gives to my future self. The pace and the online system created more elements to schedule and process than I think was necessary for me. I will do Summer classes if I have to in the future, but I will be restricting this experience to classes that I know don't already hold a challenge for me, as Math 25 did.

How was your Summer class experience? What did you learn from it? What would you do differently in the future?